My own worst enemy......

I truly am that. I am constantly and consistently putting up my own mental stumbling blocks. One example, this week I have been sick with the flu. So, needless to say I had to put the healthy lifestyle change on the back burner for a few days. I existed on 7-up and crackers....and today now that I feel better I am beating myself up about it. Why? I don't know. I was sick, I know this. But I feel like I should have done better somehow. So when I weigh in this week and the scale isn't where I want it to be I can beat myself up some more. The rational, sane side of me knows this is silly. But the crazy, irrational person side won't let me stop doing it. Even when I have so much support from outside myself, I continue to struggle inside. I know I didn't gain this 75 lbs in a few months, it took me years actually. So why do I expect to lose it in a few months? Those damn mental roadblocks, my own internal failure mechanism. I know I want to succeed so badly, yet I set myself up to fail. Normally, I would shut this internal dialog off by eating. Which in a way distracted me, so I didn't have to listen to it all day. Now, I don't have the option to stuff down those feelings, so I have to deal with them. I guess I haven't developed any new coping skills. Tonight, I am going to go walking with my sister-in-law. Maybe some exercise and some casual conversation will shut that little voice up for a while. If that doesn't work I am going to hire a hit man and have the bitch offed......