Life, death, and the bullshit in between......

Last week I was dealing with the death of my Grandma, and not very well.  I feel off the weight loss wagon and landed solidly into a bag of sour cream and onion potato chips, and chocolate, and ice cream.  Basically, whatever food I could get my hands on.  Even with all the progress I have made, food still equates comfort in my brain.  It's just that the comfort isn't quite as comfortable as I remembered.  I felt bloated, heartburn, and just gross.  So today, I decided that I can grieve while I pedal my bike.
I need to switch gears this weekend as we have the wedding of my husband's uncle to attend.  Shopping for an outfit today with my 4 year old son was quite an experience.  He asked me if I knew my legs were huge?  He asked me why we aren't black, after seeing a family not the same color as us at the restaurant where we ate lunch.  He was entertaining, but not as helpful when it came to picking an outfit.  I asked him which of the dresses I tried on was better.  He just looked at me and asked- Do they have a John Deere dress?  Really, what was I thinking trying on that floral number?  I could be rocking the latest in farm fashions.  I decided to make the decision myself and got a cute cream, green, and brown floral motif skirt with a matching little green jacket.  It's cute, summery, and not too dressy.  And, it's about 2 sizes bigger than what I wish I was.
Progress has been slow as of late.  Almost every weekend there is a bbq with brats and beers and beautiful salads and desserts.  I thought winter would be hard, turns out it was pretty easy, and summer is kicking my ass.  I love to eat, love it.  Some days I wish it didn't give me so much pleasure.  I keep telling myself food is fuel, food is fuel.  But I guess my brain or my ass aren't convinced.  With 2 months to my 30th birthday, and a lot more progress I want to make, I am going to have to buckle down.  And run in the other direction when I see a brat........