Mother's Day

The day I had my daughter, life as I knew it changed. I was 19, and some would say, too young to have a baby. The funny thing is for me, I needed her to feel normalcy. I grew up in house full of people, with me being the eldest of five siblings. I was always taking care of someone. The youngest, my brother C, is 9 years younger than me. He was my own version of a real life baby doll. When I moved out and moved on, he was devastated. I think I was too. I was lost and it just didn't feel "normal" without someone to take care of. So I got pregnant. To say it was planned would be a stretch, but to say I didn't know what might happen would be a lie. I had been dating M for almost a year when I found out. I didn't know what would happen with us necessarily, but I knew for some reason no matter what happened I would be fine. Lucky for us, M was down for the ride too. We got married when I was 6 months pregnant. I guess you could say the rest is history. It has been an amazing journey this past 10 years. It hasn't always been beautiful, some years have been downright ugly. But even today, when the outlook isn't the best, I can say one thing. I have 3 of life's greatest accomplishments plopped on my couch right now watching a movie. My life would be so less meaningful without them. I don't know what you do in life without a family. I take comfort in the fact that when everything else falls away, they will still remain constant. As we age, I think we care less and less about the silly things in life. Money, vanity, possessions and all the other foolish things we are chasing after all our lives. They will mean nothing when you are older, when you are sick, when you are leaving this world. I think it then becomes less about what we can hold in our hands and more about what we can hold in our hearts. I am very cynical about the world, but this one thing I do hold in comfort. My heart will always be full. Full of life, of love, and of laughter.