Mom vs. Friend

Navigating the world between being the Mom and being a friend is such a struggle. My daughter's are reaching the age where we need to have sex "talks" and there are a lot of questions. I want them to feel like they can ask me anything, and that I am willing to listen. I want them to feel understood and not feel embarrassed or ashamed. But, I don't want them to feel like I am giving them free reign or permission to do things I don't really approve of. It amazes me how much information, or should I say misinformation kids are receiving from other kids in elementary school. Watching Oprah the other day, I was surprised to see that 1 in 5 kids is having sex by age 14. Apparently oral sex is all the rage, and is actually a common occurrence now in middle school. These things are so scary to hear as a mom to two girls. I can't imagine that in only 4 or 5 precious years they could be faced with pressure to have sex in any form. Things have definitely changed. Hopefully, by opening a dialogue with them and forming a trusting relationship they will feel like they can talk to me. I want them to be armed with information, so when they do make decisions regarding sex they can make informed ones. I am not naive enough to think that just because I tell them not to, that they won't do it anyway. I want them to love and appreciate their bodies, and to empower them by telling them that they have the control.
Now, don't get me wrong. I still struggle with juggling the delicate balance between my urge to say "OH HELL NO!", and biting my tongue and just listening. Luckily, we are only in the beginning stages and I have only been confronted by the most innocent and basic of questions. In a few short years I will have 2 hormone raging, wanting to fit in teenage girls running around. It scares the hell out of me, but I will have some comfort in knowing I have laid the foundation. The ultimate choices are up to them. All I can do is be the guiding hand and the listening ear. I hope that I can love them enough, so they in turn will love themselves. I know from my own experience, that the only way you can have a healthy adult relationship is to love and know yourself first. I think that it is only then that you can fully give yourself in every way to someone else. I can't believe that only a few years ago I was worried about colic and ear infections. Time really goes way too fast........